Dear Software Engineers
This is a recruiter speaking. Do not worry. This is not a Job Ad. Nor is this yet another follow-up of a Job Ad.
I generally wanted to write to you. You might get 15 new recruiter requests every day on linkedin. But I don’t really count my cold connection requests. Let’s set the record straight. I know I bombard you with yet another job request all the time. For instance, I don’t give you a proper job description, do I? But that’s only because the hiring managers want to keep it vague so they can blame me for not being aligned later. Please do not misunderstand me. I juggle between redundant software screw-ups, hiring managers’ shenanigans and inter-departmental politics just to make 1 hire. Sometimes I’m not able to get back to you with proper feedback, for which I’m always apologetic! That is because I never get proper feedback from the Interviewers, and do not know what to say except a polite, No!
Allow me to give you a little clarity. I will not change. I am not programmed to. I live in a world where I get paid for recruiting but I have no real authority. I am just like you. But I have less fun. And I am terribly afraid of losing my job.
I am forever looking for a better opportunity. Till such time I do, I will always keep on sending you those cold job ads. I have no one else to connect with. And you are my easiest target.
But enough about me. Let’s talk about you.
You are the unsung hero, always in demand in the software land. And that’s what draws me to you so much. Perhaps that is why I’m looking for you all the time. You only treat the person you love like scum, they say. Or something like that. You get the drift. I don’t know how to make you a better, happier person. At this point, I close my eyes and think hard. I see myself getting a raise at the end of a successful hiring campaign. I see the CEO calling up all the department heads and crowing over their latest earth-shattering headline of hiring 10+ engineers. I see other developers doing technical documentation to successfully onboard new developers. I see drunk sales heads bragging about how our team is growing at terrace parties.
But I do not see any light at the end of the programming tunnel for you.
As we speak, your engineering manager is meeting my colleagues and making a rehashed job description of the same one he made a few weeks back. With more keywords added this time. The recruiting consultants will walk in and effortlessly present you with the next best opportunity.
So, in essence, your application is cut out really. Send me the revised resume for the job ad asap. I need it in the next five minutes or the job will be dropped. While you are at it, try adding more keywords. These are not that spunky.
Thanks for understanding,
A recruiter with no authority
The above letter is written by a Head of People and Recruitment operations at a Silicon Valley startup, who wants to be anonymous. They are using the StackRaft platform to methodically source, screen and interview candidates.